It was a beautiful day. The coffin was beautifully white. The flowers were just right - her colors. The songs were amazing - impressively performed, touching and different. But most of all, her statement was made. She would have been happy.

It was a special day. There was no pain in watching her coffin go down into the grave, for I was reminded of the words of comfort that were whispered so clearly in my heart a few days ago. Although her body has left behind, she was not there. My heart was at peace.

It was a precious day. Even though tears poured down my cheeks at times, there was that constant peace and joy that never left my heart. It was without grief that I could explain - tears flowing - to my little niece Tabita, that on this day, she would find us grownups were both happy and sad. Sad that ‘grandma’ was not amongst us, but glad that she was walking with her very special friend. Tabita looked at me, took it all in, and then nodded.
“Grandma doing better now,” she concluded. “Not sick. Grandma happy!”
“Yes, Tabita, Grandma is happy. It is only we who are sad, because she cannot be with us right now.”

I know it’s hard to explain, but I feel so blessed in all of this. I know my mother chose an unconventional path, for which she paid a heavy price, but had she been given the opportunity to live her life all over again, she would have chosen the same sacrifices and the same hardships all over again - for she was hungry for something more than what the eye can see. Although I miss her dearly, I do not feel any grief, for I know that I could not be prouder of a mother, and I could not have neither loved nor been loved more than I have. And in all of this, which should be one of my life’s biggest trials, I have an invisible hand to hold on to that gives me peace and understanding, even where there is no visible understanding to receive.

As strange as it may sound, it was an uplifting day. A friend of my mother came up to me after the funeral and said: “You know, I thought I came here to give you all encouragement, but instead, it is you who have encouraged me.” That meant so much, because after all, the joy I feel in my heart is not only for me to keep.

I will try to post more pictures later.