this leaves my completely speechless….
tears are rolling and i would like to help and Don’s know how… i feel so very sorry for you esther and your family, will keep praying, hug you…

Please tell me that you have contacted the police & FBI in California. And I pray that you have gotten the police involved where you are now. Can you get your Dad to see a physician or have a physician to go see him to check on his state of mind and body? Please get the authorities involved asap!

Thank you for posting this essential information. Attend your safety and continue to correspond with Mr. Cusimano. One guidepost on the path home may be the history he can provided, though he is currently very hurt and righteously angry. May he come to view your father as another one fallen prey to Tang.

The following quotes are in no way intended, either directly or indirectly, as “statements of fact” or to provide or suggest a “diagnosis”. They only represent my opinions and questions about statements made in this blog as I struggle to understand what has happened in the life of my friend Esther.

The behaviors described by Mr. Cusimano description of his experience with Tang remind me of this quote:

“NARCISSISTS ARE PEOPLE WHO never learned to make it on their own. Except for their fantasies of perfection, envy of others who have what they lack, and unacknowledged fears of humiliation, they are empty on the inside. They have no real Self to bring to a relationship with another person, but they desperately need someone else to join them in their emptiness and help them maintain emotional equilibrium. The ideal candidate is someone willing to become an extension of the Narcissist’s fragile ego, to serve as an object of admiration, contempt, or often enough both. The sign over their door ought to read: Abandon Self All Ye Who Enter Here.” Hotchkiss (pg. 121)

In normal relationships partners are able to genuinely appreciate the others separateness having mutual regard for each others boundaries, feelings and needs. Hotchkiss explains the “Fusion Delusion” that occurs in relationships with Narcissists. When “two such lovers connect, the goal for one - and often enough for the other as well - is complete and total merger, the obliteration of one partner’s autonomy in the service of the other’s narcissism.” (pg. 122)

http://www.echo.me.uk/npd4.htm

I wonder if information on the website that featured the above quotes might provide family and readers some understanding as to how such an intensely devastating situation could have evolved so quickly.

For me, the violation of Arne’s dignity, the violence, the manipulation, the intrusion into the family’s boundaries, efforts to split the family, and the attempts to isolate Arne from those that love him that have been troubling to watch. Such behaviors have not appeared to be those of a beloved intent on building strong foundation for an inclusive, long-tern balanced relationship. They have had the appearance of one desperately needing to control another.

I wonder when Tang learned of Mr. Cusimano’s pretended insolvency. When did Arne receive her invitation to visit in Taiwan?

I agree with oneredhorse.
Mr Cusimano is not the problem here. I don’t believe this flowery diction will hurt anybody. He is a victim himself, he has been victimized by Joy, and although he recognized Joy is using him till his money lasts - his pride is sure bruised.

Miriam, you should ask him, if he was “transformed” or, was he stronger than Arne, and it did not work on him?
G.

For several weeks, I’ve had the same impression of Joy as does One Red Horse, that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
by Phillip W. Long, M.D.

Overview
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love due to a basic sense of inferiority
3. is unable to remain in love, showing an impaired capacity for a committed relationship
4. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
5. requires excessive admiration and is unable to trust and rely on others and thus
develops numerous, shallow relationships to extract tributes from others
6. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
7. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
8. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
9. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
10. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
11. has a shifting morality–always ready to shift values to gain favor

I pray for God’s protection for all of you Garvis. Oh, please, God, open Arne’s eyes to the truth.

Hej Esther!

I’ve been reading your blog with interest and worry over the last several weeks. I can’t begin to even try to understand what’s going on or what you’re going through.

I hope that somehow, sometime there will be a resolution to all of this for you, your siblings and your dear father. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Your friend,
Mary