Two nights ago, Joy Tang sent us the following by email and text message:
To Miriam Garvi, Esther Garvi, Josef Garvi and Staffan Goranson,.At 6:46pm, March 12, 2010, you initiated a call from the number 0916741480 via a Chinese speaking person for a request to talk to me. I told the person that I do not wish to be contacted by any of you from now on..Please leave my country immediately. You have dishonored me and also dishonored my culture with your behaviors and actions. There is no need for me to meet your father again unless he can settle down the dispute about me peacefully with all your family members.
.I trust your father / friend will be in good care in your hands..Sincerely,Joy Tang
The message, which was cc:ed to both her friends Jeff Buderer and Ben de Vries, was for some reason NOT sent to my father.
My father is now left wondering why the woman he once told: “This love won’t go away unless you say you don’t want it anymore” will not tell him to his face that it is over. He has tried without success to contact her in every way that he knows possible, but is being told by Joy’s friends that “any message to Joy will have to go through her lawyers”.
We are still in Taiwan. My father is bruised and exhausted. Not having slept for more than three months, he is now napping whenever he gets the chance. We will be going home as soon as my father is ready for it.
Joy, you said yours was a relationship between two adults and my father is now waiting to hear from you what you have told us and your friends.
If you ever cared about him, I know you will inform him yourself.
If not, your silence will speak for you.
29 users commented in " The Message from Joy Tang "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackI am so sorry what happened to your father and family.
The term “Undue Influence” came to my mind when I read your father’s stories and your blog. Here is the explanation from the well-known expert, Bennett Blum, MD:
“Undue influence” is a legal term that refers to inappropriate or excessive manipulation exerted against a vulnerable person. The “perpetrators” of undue influence misuse a position of trust or power - benefitting themselves or causes they support, at the expense of the “victim” or innocent party.
Someone who seems to benefit at the expense of a vulnerable person will often be required to prove that undue influence did not occur.
Some of the relationships automatically raise concerns about undue influence are:
Attorney/client
Clergy/congregant
Conservator or guardian/conservatee or ward
Parent/child
Physician or therapist/patient or client
I recommend that you read Dr. Blum’s website to find more information about undue influence:
http://www.bennettblummd.com/
Looking forward to reading good news on your blog!
Hi Miriam,
I saw the news in Taiwan today and found what happened to your family. I understand your concern and worries. Although I don’t know the whole story, I hope that your father will be back home soon.
I would like to do something for you. If you need any help in Taiwan, please don’t hesitate to email or skype me.
Best regards,
Pamela
All you do is exactly what should be done in such a situation. As I understand your father is totally under Joy’s influence and therefore he can only recover far from her.
Second, this kind of person, Joy Tang, can only pursue their fraudulous activities and lies as long as no light is shed on them. What Joy Tang fear the most is to be revealed and not be able to do as she will.
Keep on as you do!
Full support to your family!
I pray for you.
I pray that your father is able to travel soon.
Esther, though it would be more kind for Joy Tang to tell your father herself, at this point, it is best if she has no contact whatsoever with him. Get him out of there as soon as you can. Time and distance will do well to heal him. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Does this mean, you are now staying there untill she tells your father she does not want him? She will not do that. She addressed her email to the 4 of you to leave her country, your father excluded. She knows how to keep her hold on him.
The way it looks from the outside - the longer you stay there now, the more opportunities, and possibilities for her to continue her hold on him.
Since she never told the American boyfriend to “go away”, she will never do that to your father either.
G.
Hi!
I’m Taiwanese and temporarily living in Karlskrona, Sweden for my studies.
I read the news article about your story two days ago.
I am sorry to hear what’s happening to you and your family in Taiwan.
I deeply hope you and your father will come back to Sweden as soon as possible.
I will pray for you and your father in Sweden.
If you need any help in Taiwan,please don’t hesitate to inform me.
I still have family and friends in Taiwan.
Best regards,
Tack
Albert
…Joy is not obliged to make contact or negotiate with anyone she does not choose to.
I am glad Arne is out of the hospital. I think it just as important that he spend some time AWAY from these people so he can find some center in HIMSELF. Get his feet back on the ground without being mobbed- group bullied- by his children. He has the right to try to live his own life without this kind of interference.
Really, I blame the Garvis for taking advantage in a weakened state- they are bullies and will stop at nothing (obviously) to control him. They took his title. They took his money. They took away a chance of making a loving relationship. They took his passport. It seems they will take everything they can take without actually killing him, which to me would seem more comfortable.
Folks, imagine someone you don’t want to see showing up at your sick parents house forcing their drama on you every day. Then imagine that even the police won’t help you because they are intimidated by their wild behavior and have never seen this kind of thing before. It seems like it will never end- stresses everyone out. Imagine that these people are such zealots that no meaningful negotiation is possible.
What would you do?
Ben, where is Joy?
Arne, Joy is in China.
Find a place in the mountains where it is quiet and you can sit by a stream until you can get your head together. Maybe do some fishing.
Gui Lin might be nice.
I am sorry, but this is pure manipulation.
Arne…if you really wrote this post, please join your family and go home for awhile. When you are back to your normal self you will be able to make clear decisions about Joy.
and Ben! You just don’t get it. Why are the people of Taiwan so supportive if they think the whole thing is a myth. You even say that Arne is in a weakened state. How do you know that? Did Joy tell you this? Why is he in that state? You even suggest that he go fishing to get his head together. For what reason is his head not together? If you think this is a match made in heaven, why is all this going on? He should be happy instead of feeling tortured.
I will thank you for one thing…you definitely bring more light to the situation.
Esther,
I have been following this and I sincerely hope that you are able to take your father out of this situation so he can think clearly for himself without any outside influence.
This is such a tragic story. I hope your father heals completely.
Arne must now go through the grieving process which will take a long time. He will continue to think of Joy and miss her, but it’s important that he not have any contact with her and be geographically far away from her, because she will probably continue to try to control him. Even though his rational mind may understand that she was taking advantage of him and manipulating him to get what she wanted, the emotional part of his mind will continue to want to be with her. That will last for a very long time, so be alert for that.
Esther-I’m so very, very relieved. YOU did this. You and your family are so very inspirational to us all. Truly. You were in a strange country, yet you kept the pressure on and got Arne away from her. You are incredibly brave. Perhaps all of us factored in… she doesn’t want the bad publicity that was being generated about her.
As for your father. Take him home. Get him help. When the depression loosens its hold, clarity will result. Unfortunately, she was not the one for him. The next lady might be. The whole incident was messed up and very, very twisted. A relationship where the new partner does not embrace the WHOLE family and strives to cut him off from you is just not normal. But we all know that…..
Get your dad well, Esther. You and your sibs did good. I am proud to know a strong woman such as yourself, even if we only read and comment on each other’s blogs which is a bit otherworldy! –maybe i’ll come visit and volunteer someday!—
My prayer are of course still going out to you and especially to your father in his time of trouble. I don’t doubt with the strength of your family he will come through it just fine…
Love,
~Mindy
Ben de Vries, Your comments are so full of vitriol and hate towards the Garvi family that it leads me to wonder why you would introduce Joy and Arne to each other in the first place???
Ben de Vries is Joy’s friend, and as is, defends Joy. Therefore, he is angry at the whole Garvi family, and cannot even understand a strong family when he sees one. Probably, he was not a close friend of Arni either.
I have to say this though: I am convinced that the two men defending Joy - is really giving us messages from Joy. Joy did not have the guts to stend up for herself in this process, everything had to be secret and hush-hush.
She read this blog daily, and participated through 2 men, Jeff Bruderer and Ben de Vries.
I see this as a very cowardly way of getting what she wants.
I have to agree that you need to leave as soon as possible. There’s no reason for you to linger back, especially if you’re just doing it to wait for Joy to contact your father. Let it be. It’s done. You have your father back.
Happy your dad is with you and I am excited for your long awaited return home.
Sheba will be so happy too.
Hoping your father is doing better. Please answer some questions for us.
Is he rational now - has there been any more striking out and fighting with you family?
Does he know an understand that he physically attacked you & does he know why?
Has he been evaluated for substance abuse?
Is he under a doctor’s care & evaluation at this time?
Is he aware of the personality change that he has undergone?
Sincerely, I believe the above questions need to be addressed and answered before you decide what to do. If he is in his “right mind” (and it doesn’t seem so), then let him stay with Joy if that is what he wants. If there are issues with his mental and physcial health, my suggestion would be to get him away from there asap. I think you are prolonging the agony by staying there, if your father is unwell.
Your father should be allowed to live his own life, but his bizarre behavior cannot be ignored, and seems a symptom of something more serious. While Joy seemed to not be troubled by this, it is a good thing that your family was. I hope that he will go peacefully HOME to attend to his health and reevaluate what happened.
If I felt that I was going to be abducted, I would fight back instinctively and try to get away. But I would not be on the attacking end which it appears your father was. This is just not rational - there is something else going on here. I hope that you will leave Joy and the place whereever she is soon.
Take care.
Arne, please trust your family. They love you and have no motive other than that love to get you out of Taiwan and back to a place where you can find yourself again. Peace!
I, too, am very impressed and amazed at the strength of you, Josef, Miriam and Staffan, and your perseverance despite tremendous opposition and assaults against you. May God continue to give you strength to see this through to a positive conclusion for Arne and all of you. Maybe some day he will meet a wonderful woman who will become a loving wife to him, but hopefully he will not rush into a new relationship.
My best to you and all your family Esther. I hope all of this can come to a peaceful conclusion now. Peace is my wish for you all.
My my….the truth be seen in it’s very dingy light. Amazing that she ends with those statements-INSTEAD -of beginning with them!!
I mean, if you take someone away from loving family and tell them the opposite for your own purposes. It is so wrong and such a huge sign of control and manipulation. Ooou…don’t get me going.
Living in the Light of truth, means being open, having nothing to hide and welcoming communication between all that wish to share…not the opposite, by closing down and running away!
Your Dad will come to understand the signs of a cult and also unhealthy relationships after this..it will be useful to him somehow, I know.
I pray for his healing and for all of you!
LOVE Your Heart!!!
XO
In Him, KacyK
Still praying for you, that you can get your dad safely home SOON!!!
Hoping you arrive home soon…the farther you can be from this woman and her toxic life the better. Let her slitter away and go find so other sucker to pray on.
You rock Ishtar! Now the healing begins.
… just saw another message of this woman for the Garvi family on her facebook wall which doesn’t show good manners…
The Garvis need to accept responsibility for their harassment. They need to make a public apology.
Jane: after months of insane harassment of your friend you would do the same.
Gina: you deserve no reply.
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