Two nights ago, Joy Tang sent us the following by email and text message:

To Miriam Garvi, Esther Garvi, Josef Garvi and Staffan Goranson,

.

At 6:46pm, March 12, 2010, you initiated a call from the number 0916741480 via a Chinese speaking person for a request to talk to me. I told the person that I do not wish to be contacted by any of you from now on.

.

Please leave my country immediately. You have dishonored me and also dishonored my culture with your behaviors and actions. There is no need for me to meet your father again unless he can settle down the dispute about me peacefully with all your family members.
.

I trust your father / friend will be in good care in your hands.

.

Sincerely,

Joy Tang

The message, which was cc:ed to both her friends Jeff Buderer and Ben de Vries, was for some reason NOT sent to my father.

My father is now left wondering why the woman he once told: “This love won’t go away unless you say you don’t want it anymore” will not tell him to his face that it is over. He has tried without success to contact her in every way that he knows possible, but is being told by Joy’s friends that “any message to Joy will have to go through her lawyers”.

We are still in Taiwan. My father is bruised and exhausted. Not having slept for more than three months, he is now napping whenever he gets the chance. We will be going home as soon as my father is ready for it.

Joy, you said yours was a relationship between two adults and my father is now waiting to hear from you what you have told us and your friends.

If you ever cared about him, I know you will inform him yourself.

If not, your silence will speak for you.

The past 60 hours have definitively been the most intense of this journey. On the evening the day before yesterday, we called our father (who had once again been taken into hiding, after we confronted Joy with the appearance of our mother’s wedding ring on her finger). He informed us that he was at the City Hall with Joy, watching a performance by Taiwanese Aboriginees. Only hours before, we had been talking to the immigration authorities who had asked us again to try to find our father and speak to him about going home. We decided to join him at the show.

The show itself was well worth watching. There was a lot of humor weaved into the story and many performers sang beautifully.

Joy, however, was not happy to see us and made that very clear. When the show was over, we went out to talk with our dad. As soon as Joy saw us in the lobby, she got most agitated, and ran off with Arne backstage. Miriam and I were quick to follow behind, but when we stepped into a narrow passage, my father stopped abruptly and threw a punch at Miriam’s throat, immobilizing her long enough for them to lock themselves into the VIP room. Thankfully, the punch did not cause any serious harm.

What followed was pure havoc. After the theater staff had repeatedly asked Joy and my father to leave the VIP room, they finally came out. Again, Joy was too agitated for any talking to take place between us and our dad. When she charged at my brother Josef, who was approaching my father to speak with him, a protective instict awoke in me and I pulled her away. This set off the drama as Joy spun around and hit me, and my father, with the rage that we have seen takes hold of him whenever Joy is displeased or upset, charged at us. Because of his physically weakened state, Josef and Staffan were able to contain him. He calmed down as I told him again that we all love him and that nothing can ever stop us from loving him, but this message agitated Joy, who stepped in, triggering my father’s rage again. During the turmoil that followed, I was kicked in the head repeatedly, resulting in me losing part of my front tooth.

The evening ended yet again in a police station. Joy and my father were kept in separate rooms, as the police tried to get a grip on what had just happened. Despite cultural and language barriers I was eventually able to write down a statement of the evening’s events. As the hours passed, Arne got himself so worked up with the police that he was taken to a psychiatric ward for observation, out of Joy’s influence until he could be put on a plane home.

At the hospital ward we were able to spend some precious hours of quality time with our father, whilst trying to find a solution with the medical staff and the immigration authorities to bring Arne back home. It was a blessing to watch him sleep soundly and peacefully for more than eight hours with no medication administered.

The following day, whilst Josef stayed with our dad at the hospital, the rest of us attended the press conference and spent the afternoon talking with various teams of journalists about Joy Tang’s fraudulent activities and the undue influence she is exercising on Arne in his presently vulnerable state of mind.

We remain hopeful that Tang Wei aka Joy Tang will free Arne from all the scenarios which she has made him believe in, including the fact that she will die from a severe physical disease if Arne leaves her, or the idea that they should commit suicide together, a seed we recently learned she planted in Arne’s mind during his first visit to Taiwan.

At this moment, we are all preparing for a return trip to Europe with Arne. We hope that this will put an end to all the drama, for we are very tired and long to be back home. Josef’s daughters Tabita and Priscilla (Arne’s grandchildren) send their love every day, praying that their grandfather will soon get better!

Thank you all for your love and support. Your thoughts, prayers and encouragement continue to mean so much to us!

***

Many of you have asked about the opportunity to contribute to this love rescue mission. We have now opened a bank account specifically for this purpose:

PAYPAL (loverescueoperation@gmail.com)

…or…

IBAN:  SE27 6000 0000 0006 5149 6772
BIC / SWIFT:   HANDSESS
Account name:   Love Rescue Operation

(In Sweden: Account number: 651 496 772 Clearing number: 6234)

This morning started off ith an article in one of the local newspapers, followed by a press conference at 10.30 A.M. (GMT+8).

Prior to the press conference, the reporters called Joy Tang to offer her the chance of getting out her version of the story. Joy stated that this whole affair was nothing but a love story that Arne’s family were set against, but when the reporters started asking follow-up questions, she hung up on them, making them very suspicious.

The press conference was very well attended. Ten TV stations and several journalists showed up. We informed about Arne’s situation and Joy Tang’s role in it, including her involvement with fraudulent activities, as well as the death threats sent by her boyfriend in the U.S. involving the Hell’s Angels.

We are hoping that this will help convey our message across Taiwan that Joy Tang needs to release her destructive grip on Arne Garvi, so that he can regain his sanity. If there is true love involved, it is not afraid to be put on hold for whatever time it will take for the other partner to get his life sorted out and be back on track again.

After reading the post Angels & Demons - Healing Intentions or Draining Powers, many readers have wondered what would the Dalai Lama say? Blog reader Oneredhorse expressed herself as follows:

Joy’s actions, when you line them up and review them, provide a powerful picture of her intentions. Compassionate healing or abuse, manipulation, and control? Without any concern of “defamation” it would seem her own behavior has done an exemplary job of revealing her true self. Ah, what would her friend the Dalai Lama say. Might he intercede on behalf of your family?

Oneredhorse, Angels & Demons - Healing Intentions or Draining Powers

So what would the Dalai Lama say?

Interestingly, it turns out that Joy Tang’s organisation OneVillage Foundation is well associated with the Dalai Lama Foundation. (The page above was updated on July 2009.)

On their site, the Dalai Lama Foundation describes how OneVillage Foundation is one of the blogs they support:

We currently support these blogs:

* OneVillage Foundation;
* The Foundation’s CTO blog, which is the CTO’s personal blog dealing with technical problems of serving up peace and ethics worldwide;
* A private “circles” blog that’s used to communicate with Study Circle coordinators;
* A DLF—Canada blog which is integrated into a page on the DLF site;
* A new “green farming and energy” blog run by OVF.
* And the Project Happiness blog where teachers and students chronicle their participation in this important project.

The Dalai Lama Foundation, 2010

The Dalai Lama Foundation has the following to say about OneVillage Foundation, and its founder, Joy Tang:

Joy Tang founded oneVillage Foundation to address the problem of helping AIDS orphans in Africa thru the use of information and communication technologies (ICTs). Joy has been a friend of The Dalai Lama Foundation since its inception. We provide blog capabilities for OVF.

The Dalai Lama Foundation, 2010

It goes on to say how Jim Schuyler, Chief Technology Officer of the Dalai Lama Foundation, participates in “advising, and evaluating, whenever Joy or Jeff Buderer request his assistance.”

The Dalai Lama Foundation also refers to Jeff Buderer, who has recently started commenting on this site (esthergarvi.com):

Jeff Buderer maintains the OVF blogs and does other editorial and technical work. Joy has many initiatives in the works. They have a network of youth leaders in Africa who are working on projects and organizing locally.

The Dalai Lama Foundation, 2010

For the specifics of the partnership between the Dalai Lama Foundation and OneVillage Foundation, DLF writes:

We try to help support others’ efforts where we can, rather than create new organizations. We provide whatever time and materials we can on a volunteer basis to help get them up and running. For instance, we have provided the technology behind OneVillage Foundation’s blogs while OVF has been building the content and format, You can now choose from among three OVF blogs: Integrated Solutions Blog, Integrated Farming and Waste Management, and OVF News.

The Dalai Lama Foundation, 2010

Joy Tang & Dalai Lama (Facebook)

At the end of the day, Oneredhorse’s question remains very valid:

What would her friend the Dalai Lama say. Might he intercede on behalf of  your family?

Oneredhorse, Angels & Demons - Healing Intentions or Draining Powers

So sorry we couldn’t all be home in Africa and enjoy a family day together, but we are saving all that for some day in the (hopefully!) near future!!

With much love,

Esther, Miriam and Uncle S

During the past few days, we have received emails and calls from various people connected to Joy (Tang-Wei) Tang. They have accused us of waging war against them and of harassing their network. Jeff Buderer (Director of Operations of OVF in California) in particular has been very upset about certain facts being revealed about his organisation, which, as he says himself, is “still in the process of sorting out the legal framework” both in the US and in Ghana (even though OVF according to its web site was founded in 2003). Some are pleading with us to keep silent and take the first plane home, while others have taken a more aggressive tone.

One of these is Joseph “Joe” Cusimano Jr., Joy Tang’s boyfriend in California, who, until recently, did not know that his current girlfriend had plans to marry our father.

Two days ago, I (Miriam) sent Joe Cusimano an apology on behalf of the entire Garvi family.

“Through my sister I have heard that Arne’s proposal and Joy’s acceptance of that proposal happened even as you and Joy were still seeing each other. I cannot imagine how used and betrayed that can make one feel. The Arne I know was never interested in Joy in any romantic sense. And he certainly would not have found any pleasure in being an instrument for the kind of “use and abuse” relationships that have nothing to do neither with real love nor real friendship. I am profoundly sorry that you were treated this way.”

Miriam Garvi, Email to Joe Cusimano on March 5th, 08.42 GMT

What followed were a series of emails which have left us both disturbed and very concerned, starting with repeated threats to ourselves, as well as Arne and Joy:

“F*** YOU AND YOUR FAMILY - WE’LL MEET - YOU WON’T LIKE IT-”

Joe Cusimano Jr. March 5th, 14.45 GMT

“YOUR FATHER DESERVES DEATH - SO DOES JOY - I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT -”

Joe Cusimano Jr. March 5th, 15.00 GMT

What followed was a lengthier explanation of Joe’s moral code as part of a Sicilian family. In his fourth email, Joe emphasises that both Arne and Joy deserve to be brutally dealt with for their actions:

“Your father and Joy Tang are guilty of violating all of these moral rules and will be judged and properly dealt with for the violations.

…He [Arne] has disrespected DOUG BONTEMPI and his MEMORY-his FAMILY - and his dream of assisting JOY TANG-ARNE has disrespected Joe Cusimano-The CUSIMANO FAMILY-and all of his many friends assisting Joy Tang in Mtn. View CAlif. and abroad- So I don’t know what will happen to Joy and Arne-I suspect they both will die soon-

…She [Joy] fooled Doug Bontempi my friend of 51 1/2 years-he was President of the San Jose Chapter of the HELL’S ANGESL MOTORCYCLE CLUB-

…For these violations- of trust-honor-resepct- Arne Garvi and Joy Tang are stripped naked- ARNE GARVI has his d*** and b*** cut off- Joy TANG stuffs his d*** and b*** in his mouth-Arne Garvi slowly bleeds to death-as the cold numbing part of this process=-Joy TANG is handed a pistol- she can shoot Arne -or- she hands it to him and he shoots himself-THEN she is shot between the eyes- The HELLS ANGELS have their own method of handling disrespect and dishonor-I am not privvy to what the Club does…

…So I suggest to get the funeral plans and will ready-you just did yoru mother’s so just duplicate it ( I saw the headstone) -IF-you have funds left that JOY hasn’t taken…”

Joe Cusimano Jr. March 5th, 18.56 GMT

The ten emails I have received from Joy’s boyfriend all outline the punishment that according to him awaits both Arne and Joy at this time. He goes on:

“Joy is a fraud - her foundation is a fraud-she is very cunning and because of her relationship with my best freind [Doug Bontempi] I took her in and we fell in love-she pursued me as she did yoru father- - and -I supported her in every way-As soon as she thought the chores were done-and money gone-(I faked it all)–I was expendable-”

Joe Cusimano Jr. March 5th, 18.56 GMT

“…Joy and i have been working on oneVILLAGE since Julu 2009 and I took over Doug Bontempi’s role + funding/platform/USa Office and he started in 2004 with her-So your father f**** over a lot of things for a lot of people- (…) I beleive Joy pursued Arne in her way -she is like that-she uses her platform to mentally seduce men for here own use-i stayed somewhat controlled because I can afford Joy.”

Joe Cusimano Jr. March 6th, 01.57 GMT

These death threats would have been less disturbing if it were not for the key involvement with the OneVillage Foundation which Joe Cusimano describes in his emails.

* * *

Dear Readers,

At this stage we long for nothing else than to leave this suffocating darkness and go home to all that we hold dear, with our father at our side.

However, when malice comes our way, posing as an angel of light & love and puts its claws into one of our own, we have no choice but to speak up about what we see.

The only thing that will keep malice from letting the worst come to the worst is knowing that a whole world is watching. Thanks to all of you who have taken this story to your hearts we know that if any harm should come to any one of us, including Arne, it will not go unnoticed. That gives us comfort.

Copyright Arne Victor Garvi

Joy, we last met you at the hideout where you had taken our father to keep him out of reach of the people who love him deeply. You were wearing the Jade bracelet that our father gave you on his first visit to Taiwan (at a time when he also gave you a new pair of glasses, an expensive titanium ring and the trumpet he had bought for our mother as she lay sick with cancer).

You were no longer wearing the USD 1,000-worth necklace that our father bought you with money he does not have for your birthday (purchased together with an expensive bottle of perfume and a miniskirt). We gather that necklace - portraying a trapped rose attached onto a chain of rings - was not really to your liking as it quickly disappeared.

When we met you at Kulo’s place, you were wearing the last of our father’s valuables: a masculine titanium necklace and matching ring (purchased by our father for another USD 1,000 on your birthday shopping spree). But more disturbing was the sight of our father’s golden wedding ring - engraved with our mother’s name - on your middle finger.

Bettan Garvi’s gold wedding ring to Arne Garvi on Joy Tang’s finger

Joy, what has brought you to put on your finger a wedding ring that bears another woman’s name? Are you so destitute that you will lay your hand on any valuable that comes your way, even when it is not yours to take? Since you came into the picture, you have wanted to take on the role and personality of our mother, portraying her sickness, her vulnerability, and even claiming to share her love for children. However, as much as you try to steal the identity of a much loved woman, you cannot, for her life is sealed and her legacy lives on.

It is not for sale, nor are Bettan and Arne’s achievements with Eden.

Joy, we demand that you hand back the ring of our mother. Although it is the last piece of “material” wealth our father still possesses, it holds a value much higher than gold. It is the token of Bettan’s vows and faithfulness to the man she loved, and it should not be carried on any other person’s hand than the receiver himself.

If our mother were here to speak for herself, she would reclaim the ring she once gave her beloved as a token of her eternal love for the man who won her heart.

It is high time you stop stealing from the dead and purchase your own token of affection.

Signed,

Miriam, Josef & Esther Garvi
Taipei, Taiwan

On Monday night, when we had our crisis meeting with Joy, she agreed that the best thing for my father would be to board the plane back to Europe and resolve the numerous things that have gone wrong in his life during the past six weeks. Her promise however did not hold much, as the following day, she took off with my father to an unknown destination. In the days that followed, she had him call us on a semi-regular basis, but he was never allowed to say where they were. Not even to the Taiwanese police nor the immigration authorities, who have been checking up on him as the expiry of his visa is drawing near.

On the phone, all my dad could talk about was the food he had eaten, and that he would be returning to Taipei to take the flight with us (the flight was scheduled for this morning). All other questions were answered with a monotonous “I don’t know”, “I can’t answer that”, or, the most worrisome of them all: “I can’t talk anymore, I have too much pain.”

Pained with concern, we knew we could not sit idly by in Taipei. Although my father had indicated on the phone that they had gone to the southern part of the country, we decided to go down to the East coast, to the place where Joy had taken my father “for rest and healing” during his first visit to Taiwan and where his recent “transition” seemed to have begun. On Wednesday morning, we wrapped up all lose ends in the capital, packed up and took the evening train to the city of Hualien.

The change of scenery was much appreciated, as I have always known in my heart Taipei City can never do justice to this little green island embraced by the sea. Seeing the horizon again after being trapped in dark alleys and overshadowed by smog, was a welcome treat!

We woke up the following morning with peace and full of expectation. The day set off abruptly however as the breakfast table shook to the tunes of the aftershock of a 6.4 earthquake that had taken place earlier that night. (Fortunately for Taiwan, there were no fatalities, as I understood it.)

The place we were intent on visiting was called Ocean’s Home (aka “Kulo’s place”), and we found its location thanks to some prior research on the Internet and a most helpful taxi driver.

Other people have visited Kulo’s place in less dire circumstances and will be better judges as to the personality of this little hostel, which, according to Joy, was built little by little using driftwood and other discarded materials.

To our great surprise, at this exact location, we found none other than Joy and my father, who were supposed to be miles away.

My father was lying listless on the stone floor with his arms and legs positioned in a pentagram form, while Joy was hovering over him and rubbing his chest vigorously.

At the sight of us, Joy stopped short, even though no words had yet been spoken. I am sure however that the word CONCERN was graphically readable on all of our faces.

Quickly recovering from the initial shock, my sister ran up to my father and grabbed his hand. At this display of concern, Joy exclaimed: “He’s fine! He just needs to rest!”

My sister just looked at her incredulously, and asked, “Joy, are you blind?”

For what possibly could be “fine” about the man lying listless on the ground, with fear and agony written all over his face? It would take a heartless human to not see the pain that my father is going through - and has been going through - since this “transition” some six weeks ago, which according to Joy is bringing out “his most beautiful self”. But Joy remains the only one to see any beauty in the transformation degradation that has taken place since she walked into Arne’s life.

Although I cannot understand what Joy has done to hold such powers over my father, who now has to have her blessing for everything he does (including being permitted to see his children and what he is allowed to say to them) - her control over him is obvious. I do not know exactly what it will take to bring him out of this brainwashed state, but what I do know is that love conquers all. As for the “healing” taking place, our mere presence was so disruptive that the activity was quickly wrapped up, my father returning to his bed whilst Joy remained in the doorpost talking to my brother.

Eventually, my dad asked if we wanted to see where he had taken off into the mountains during his first visit to Kulo’s place - the time when he, according to Joy, had been given the bracelet and amulet which have been shown in a previous post.

For reasons he cannot explain himself, my father had taken off into these mountains, cutting his arms as he wrestled through dense vegetation and waded through ice-cold water. According to Joy, he was gone for so long that the army had prepared a search party, but this was never needed as my father eventually found his way to the police who then helped him. I will always wonder whatever happened that made him to chase off into the wilderness like a madman.

We are most grateful for all of your concern about our own health and welfare, yet it is impossible for us to leave Taiwan and leave our father to his fate. Having lost our mother at 55, we are not ready to lose our father at the same age. The “transition” (as Joy calls it) he has undergone in only a few weeks has had such a destructive impact on his life and being, that when he came back to Taiwan he seriously started talking about suicide for the first time in his life.

Six months before my mom passed away, the chemotherapy brought her into a critical state and she was hospitalised. Knowing there was no cure for the disease, the medical staff wanted us to give up on her and “let her die in peace”. My father told the nurse in front of him that the woman in that hospital bed was the apple of his eye, and that every waking moment they spent together, good or painful, was precious to them both - for such was their love.

In the same way, my brother, sister and I can only say that EVERY moment - good or painful - we have with our father is PRECIOUS, and we cannot leave him in Taiwan to die.

Smögen 2010

An old classmate of mine (from my elementary school days!) just sent me the sweetest email. She wanted to send me some encouragement in all that we were going through, and sent some beautiful pictures of Smögen, my mother’s home island. I have no memories of having experienced these parts of my roots in winter clothing, so seeing my mother’s island dressed in white snow - pure white snow - made me really happy and I just had to share…

Smögen 2010

Thank you, Katarina!

For more beautiful skies around the world, click here!

* * *

We are still looking for my father. If anybody has any information about his or Joy’s whereabouts, please contact us at my brother’s phone number +886989429173. Thank you!

Arne Garvi in Germany, February 2010

Prior to meeting Joy, my father (a declared pacifist since his teenage years who refused to carry weapons during his military service) had never resorted to violence, nor been the victim of any physical abuse.

About a month ago, upon his return from his first visit with Joy in Taiwan, my father came back with a black eye. When I inquired about it, he told me Joy had punched him, but he could not remember any particular reason for the violent outburst other than that there “must have been one”.

Arne Garvi & Joy Tang in Taiwan, February 2010

It is difficult to imagine how a small-built woman - who at first glance does not look like she would resort to violence and who in any normal circumstances would certainly be easily overpowered by my father’s well-built frame if he chose to defend himself - would be able to physically hurt my father. So, when I met Joy in Berlin the morning after my father’s return from Taiwan, one of the first things I asked Joy about was the black eye. Joy admitted to punching Arne, and, when I asked about what had called for such violence, she stated it was a punishment for “disrespecting  my friends”. As we later found out, the people in question were Kulo and his circle of friends who are running a place on the beach south of Hualien where Joy had brought my dad. Whether this was the episode that led to an Arne in agony calling me on the phone from Taiwan, not able to coherently convey what was happening in-between his sobbing, is unclear. But that distressing phone call left no doubt in our minds that something was happening to him in Taiwan which was quite a far stretch from the “rest and healing” that Joy had stated that Arne needed when she extended her invitation to him to come and see her.

I was - and still am - distraught at seeing the result of the physical abuse that is tormenting my father. When my father asked Esther about her reaction to him and Joy getting married, she told him that the physical violence is an issue. But it remains only an outward sign of what is mentally and spiritually tormenting him.

Joy, I do not know how you came to hold such abusive powers, but I am here to tell you that this has to stop. Our rescue mission will follow my father wherever you take him, meeting every punch with embracing love until you say those magic words that will release him from his bondage:

“I DO NOT WANT YOU ANYMORE.”

/Miriam Garvi

* * *

Short update: We are still looking for my father. If anybody has any information about the whereabouts of Joy or my father, please contact us at my brother’s phone number +886989429173. Thank you! /Esther

Today, I got a note from Joy’s boyfriend in the US. Joy had told my father that she had cleared things up with the man she was seeing when my dad visited the US in November, but from the boyfriend’s reply to me (where he calls Joy a liar and asks us all to **** ourselves), I don’t think she had any plans of informing him.

The games have gone on for too long now. It is time this all this comes to an end.

We called Joy immediately and sat down for a five hour long crisis meeting where she agreed that Arne needed to go back with us and find back to his “Pristine Self” as she called it. The plan was to meet all of us today.

A few hours ago, we discovered that my father’s lodgings were empty, and that Joy is taking him to an unknown location somewhere up North.

Joy is not taking our calls. For a whole week, we have given her the benefit of the doubt. But now it is obvious that she will not let our father go.

Time is running out. Please pray for us as we continue to pursue our mission. We will not leave without Arne.

A friend of both Arne and Joy left the following comment on Facebook, which might provide some insight into the dynamics of the relationship:

Looking beyond the immediate, Arne told me that he is a Christian, and does not believe in other religions.

Joy is very deeply into multiple spiritual paths, including Tibetan Buddhist and Yoruba, and it sounds like a recipe for conflict, as does the fact that Arne and Joy are both type A personalities, and both assume leadership roles, and Joy does not defer to anyone.

Joy is also a global caretaker, and Arne told me he is trying to live with the loss of his wife, your mother and the true light of his life. This is not a recipe for a successful marriage.

Joy will respond to people as whole beings, but she is not going to stay committed exclusively to anyone who does not meet all her needs or flow with all of her engagements and capacities.

I would be concerned with Arne’s potential for berserker rage when he fully realizes this by seeing it in action, whether she relates to others in a way he may want to be exclusively his, or whether she refuses to bend to his will in other ways.

Mark Roest, San Fransisco

On January 4th, during our first chat conversation, Joy made the following comment which has stayed with me ever since:

Your mother’s love for children is coming to me.

Joy Tang, January 4th

As I am not into neither the occult nor into reincarnation, I was left wondering what she meant. I still do.

For all my life, I have known my father as an alert driver, with whom I have always felt very safe as a passenger. He would never drive recklessly, as he taught me to have respect for traffic, and taught me more generally in life, that risks should be taken for causes that are worthy and important - not for fun. I have also known him as someone who watches jealously over the state of his vehicles. In fact, the repairman in Zinder who services his car there never stops talking about how the 14-year old Land Cruiser he uses for work still is in a better shape than most 1-year old cars in the country.

Yet, after his first visit to Taiwan, this changed totally.

In January, Dad went to Taiwan for two weeks to meet Joy. When he was supposed to go back to Sweden, he missed his return flight twice. (Prior to meeting Joy, my dad had never missed a flight in his whole life). At that time, he was expected at the Eden office in Sweden for the yearly review. He eventually made his appearance in Falkenberg several days belated, but the only thing on his mind was an urgent need to return to Joy. He only stayed for two hours, and did not even take the time to repack his suitcase before setting off to Berlin where Joy was due to attend the Transmediale.10 conference.

(From this point on, I will excuse the Reader if s/he might think a war was about to explode in Germany and someone’s life had to be rescued…)

The weather that day was the worst thinkable - it was a heavy snow storm with temperatures just around zero degrees Celsius. For some reason my dad could not explain to us afterwards, one of his tyres punctured. He stopped and put on the spare tyre, which was then somehow ruined as well. However, instead of getting help to fix his car, he ended up driving 100 km on the rim. He boarded the ferry this way, but when he arrived in Germany, he was stopped by the police - again for reasons unclear to him - and ended up spending the night in jail. The next morning, after a disrespectful performance in the courtroom, he was released with a two months suspended jail sentence (prior to meeting Joy, my father has never been in trouble with the law). As his car was unfit to drive, he rented another one, and rushed off to Berlin.

After a week in Berlin, he drove off to return the rental car, and pick up his blue Volvo which he and my mother had been using for more than 10 years and which he had taken great pains to keep in an excellent condition. It turned out that the bolts had been severely damaged by the rim ride.

Still, he insisted that the mechanics at the repair shop simply screw on a new wheel so that he could take the road as quickly as possible, this time intending to join Joy in Frankfurt, from where she was due to fly back to Taiwan. The mechanics, however, refused to do so, stating that the car was undrivable, so my father did the job himself. The car was also out of fuel, and here the garage helped him fill up enough for him to reach the next petrol station.

Though driving off at 170 km/h, he did not get very far on the highway. Having passed several petrol stations, his car ran out of fuel. We (my two sisters, my father’s closest friend Staffan and myself) went to pick him up, fetch some petrol, refuel his car, and pull him to a start - because when leaving his car on the highway, he had left his GPS on which probably drained the battery.

The engine running again, my dad sped off once more on his way to Frankfurt and Joy. But once again he did not get far before the next mishap occurred. Around Hamburg, he had an accident, fortunately not a severe one. His brake warning lamp on the dashboard had been lit for a while, but he had not let this stop him. So in a crossing, braking hard for a red light, his car rolled too far and hit the one in front of him. The front lights of the Volvo were smashed (surprisingly, the other car was unscratched in the incident). With no brakes, no headlights, and a wheel that was barely hanging in place, he still wanted to drive on, because he had to reach Joy immediately…

In the end, it was the German police who stopped him from driving the car further, and who dropped him off at Hamburg’s airport so he could fly to Frankfurt. As Joy had already left for Taiwan, he went on after her, leaving his car behind somewhere in Germany, perhaps repaired, perhaps not; the trunk filled with toys purchased in Berlin.

In the past, my father has told me about a couple of cases of character change among his acquaintances, and how tragic and difficult they have been. Personally, I have never seen a character change as profound and severe as this one before, and it is definitely painful to observe. Whatever it is that has clouded his senses is doing gross injustice to the man he has been for his entire adult life. I love my father deeply, and I am waiting for the day that he wakes up from this enchantment.

Joy Tang & Arne Garvi (February 2010)

As for Joy, I cannot understand the good intentions of a woman who claims to love both my father and our entire family, yet who does nothing to bring this degradation to an immediate end. In our tradition, we learn that by the fruit you shall know the tree. True love is about bringing out the best in each other, yet so far, this relationship has not produced a single such sign. When my dad risks his life as well as that of others only to spend some extra hours with Joy, that is not a sign of strong love, but of obsession. And when she allows and entertains such behaviour, it is not a sign of deep reciprocal love. At best, it is amusement. Pure love has deeper qualities, and it knows when to say no.